Youthink English is easy??

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refusemore refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessertin the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, hethought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bassdrum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into thebushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen abouthow to row.

13) They were too close to the door to closeit.

14) The buck does funny things when the doesare present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into asewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taughthis sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting Ished a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a seriesof tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my mostintimate friend?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine inpineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries inFrance . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, aremeat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we findthat quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig isneither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingersdon’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of toothis teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So onemoose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can makeamends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid ofall but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacherspraught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum forthe verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at arecital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feetthat smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be thesame, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at theunique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down,in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes offby going on.

English was invented by people, not computers,and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not arace at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but whenthe lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. – Whydoesn't ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’ ?