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Thread: Why I like retirement!

  1. #1
    Gold 5 Star Member Lyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Chatham Park, Kissimmee & Glenfield, Leicester

    Why I like retirement!

    I know most of you are a long way of retirement but when I read this I thought, this is just me

    How many days in a week?
    Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

    Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
    Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

    Question: How many retirees to change alight bulb?
    Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

    Question: What's the biggest gripe ofretirees?
    Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

    Question: Why don't retirees mind beingcalled Seniors?
    Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

    Among retirees, what isconsidered formal attire?
    Answer: Tied shoes.

    Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
    Answer:They are the only ones who have thetime.

    Question: What is the common term forsomeone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?

    Question: Why are retirees so slow toclean out the basement, attic or garage?
    Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids willwant to store stuff there.

    Question: What do retirees call a longlunch?
    Answer: Normal.

    Question:What is the best way to describeretirement?
    Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

    Question: What's the biggest advantage ofgoing back to school as a retiree?
    Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

    Question: Why does a retiree often say hedoesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

    And, my very favorite....
    What do you do all week?
    Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Love them - we had a good laugh as Stuart will be eligible to retire from work next October but after I told him I was also going to retire so we would have to share cooking, cleaning, gardening etc he thinks he might stay on!

  3. #3
    Gold 5 Star Member SDJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Windwood Bay/Tavistock, Devon.
    We retired in January when we sold our pub and restaurant. Hubby is 75 but we are both very active. We decided to do Locum work and are just completing an 8 week stint in Epsom which has been really hard work as there are no cleaners, chef's, staff etc., so not exactly what we are used to! We had 28 staff!! Anyway, we are absolutely knackered but pleased that we were still able to do it...and of course the extra money is really useful. We return to Devon on Sunday and are already thinking how bored we will be by Wednesday!!! Age is just a word. A very old American guy said to hubby "son, when you get up in the morning, put your boots on, not your slippers"!!! This is so true. My friend who is the same age as me is always calling herself old and how she is 'getting on'. It drives me mad.

    By the way Jill, Alan has always done the cooking, cleaning, ironing etc. He just loves it!!! I am very lucky - I make the coffee - sometimes..[clap]

  4. #4
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Quote Originally Posted by SDJ View Post
    By the way Jill, Alan has always done the cooking, cleaning, ironing etc. He just loves it!!! I am very lucky - I make the coffee - sometimes..[clap]
    Stuart is capable of burning water when it comes to cooking but is capable or ironing but will run a mile if I suggest he does any. Thankfully both of our sons are excellent cooks and both like experimenting with recipes.

  5. #5
    Gold 5 Star Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Harwell, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom.
    I'm retiring in October - have to say I'm really looking forward to a week of 6 Saturdays and a Sunday :-)


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