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Thread: You think English is easy??

  1. #1
    Gold 5 Star Member Lyn's Avatar
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    You think English is easy??

    Youthink English is easy??

    1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

    2) The farm was used to produce produce.

    3) The dump was so full that it had to refusemore refuse.

    4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

    5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

    6) The soldier decided to desert his dessertin the desert..

    7) Since there is no time like the present, hethought it was time to present the present.

    A bass was painted on the head of the bassdrum.

    9) When shot at, the dove dove into thebushes.

    10) I did not object to the object.

    11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

    12) There was a row among the oarsmen abouthow to row.

    13) They were too close to the door to closeit.

    14) The buck does funny things when the doesare present.

    15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into asewer line.

    16) To help with planting, the farmer taughthis sow to sow.

    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

    18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting Ished a tear..

    19) I had to subject the subject to a seriesof tests.

    20) How can I intimate this to my mostintimate friend?

    Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine inpineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries inFrance . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, aremeat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we findthat quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig isneither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

    And why is it that writers write but fingersdon’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of toothis teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So onemoose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can makeamends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid ofall but one of them, what do you call it?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preacherspraught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum forthe verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at arecital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feetthat smell?

    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be thesame, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at theunique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down,in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes offby going on.

    English was invented by people, not computers,and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not arace at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but whenthe lights are out, they are invisible.

    PS. – Whydoesn't ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’ ?
    Lyn


  2. #2
    Florida Chatterbox DisneyFunVilla's Avatar
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    Good and funny list. One exception - amend - we (Americans) amend our Constitution and one can amend a contract.

    Don't forget to, too, & two and for, fore & four!

    I don't know if these phrases are the same for you folks in the UK, but a very good friend of mine from France just could not understand why we say "take a shower" and "make a phone call". After all, we weren't taking the shower to a different place or making a phone call from a recipe. Of course, I couldn't explain it to him.
    Last edited by DisneyFunVilla; 10-08-2013 at 14:04. Reason: French
    Mike


  3. #3
    Florida Expert Gerry Reed's Avatar
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    I don't think it is easy ! but then I am dyslexic. Give me numbers and maths any day.

    Sue
    Gerry and Sue




  4. #4
    Florida Chatterbox syrup's Avatar
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    "You think English is easy"

    Very good and so true!
    Keith


  5. #5
    Florida Junior seanchai's Avatar
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    Very good indeed ..... "live " is another word that can be read differently . Yep english is certainly a hard language to learn ,especially as a second language.
    We can also 'raise' the house to the ground .


  6. #6
    Florida Savvy
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    Quote Originally Posted by seanchai View Post
    Very good indeed ..... "live " is another word that can be read differently . Yep english is certainly a hard language to learn ,especially as a second language.
    We can also 'raise' the house to the ground .
    Or even raze


  7. #7
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    We're all as bad as each other In the UK we have the Royal Mail service but we post letter, in the US you hasve the US postal service but you mail letters.
    Babblin Boo


  8. #8
    Gold 5 Star Member
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    How about
    We rowed our boat to the riverside event, on the way we had a row about which row our seats would be in.
    Babblin Boo


  9. #9
    Gold 5 Star Member LiesaAnna's Avatar
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    how about... we go there regularly but when they're there with their friends...
    i so admire these kids that come over to the UK on language courses...
    now course is series of lessons or directions being followed, way things can develop, eating... we choose several different parts of a course when choosing meals, we take a course of medication such as antibiotics, playing sports on a course such a golf course,

    where, wear were,

    its never ending!! lol
    Liesa


  10. #10
    Florida Junior seanchai's Avatar
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    Glad you noticed my "deliberate" mistake johnny......hahahaha[msnembarrased]after all, english is not an easy language to learn .


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