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Thread: Why we love children

  1. #1
    Gold 5 Star Member Lyn's Avatar
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    Chatham Park, Kissimmee & Glenfield, Leicester
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    Why we love children

    Why we love children ...

    1) ******
    I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
    woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
    naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the
    back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

    2) OPINIONS
    On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from
    his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not
    necessarily those of his parents ..'

    3) TOMATO SAUCE

    A woman was trying hard to get the last out of the bottle. During her
    struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the
    phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
    hitting the bottle.'

    4) MORE ******

    A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
    room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
    towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
    asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

    5) POLICE # 1
    While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
    interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my
    uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing
    the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is
    that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she
    extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

    6) POLICE # 2
    It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
    station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and
    I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he
    asked.
    'It sure is,' I replied.
    Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van Finally
    he said, 'What'd he do?'

    7) ELDERLY
    While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,
    I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was
    unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the
    canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of
    false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
    barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will
    never believe this!'

    8) DRESS-UP
    A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
    dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
    'And why not, darling?'
    'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

    9) DEATH
    While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard
    the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his
    5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper
    burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wool,
    then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
    The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
    sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always
    said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he
    goooes.'(I want this line used at my funeral!)

    10) SCHOOL
    A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting
    my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they
    won't let me talk!'

    11) BIBLE
    A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
    through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
    up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
    pressed in between the pages.
    'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
    'What have you got there, dear?'
    With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's
    Adam's underwear!'

    NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND JUST FORGET IT
    Lyn


  2. #2
    Gold 5 Star Member LiesaAnna's Avatar
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    Brighton, United Kingdom
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    very good x[msnsmile2]
    Liesa


  3. #3
    Gold 5 Star Member another's Avatar
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    Arborfield, Berkshire, UK & Davenport, Florida
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    Excellent
    Frances



  4. #4
    Florida Chatterbox DisneyPrincess's Avatar
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    Jan 2009
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    575
    Very good


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