Money can't buy love. But it can rent a very close imitation.
Attempt to get a new car for your spouse--it'll be a great trade!
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of checks.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you!
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just have no film.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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