A 95 year old man is given a jar to deposit a sperm specimen. He turns up 2 days later with an empty jar and the nurse asks why. He replies: "sorry but I tried wiv my right hand, my left hand, my wife tried wiv both hands, then wiv her mouth, first wiv teeth in then teeth out, we even got Ethel next door to try. But we still couldn't get the flamin lid off."


Colleen