A man got on a bus with both of his pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at hime and his bulging pockets. Finally after many such glances from her he said, "it's golf balls". Nevertheless the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking about what he had said. Not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, the blande asked, "does it hurt like tennis elbow?"
Jill and Brian
and another ..
Painting the Porch
A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided
to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby
well-to-do neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and
asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much
will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about £50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would
need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her
husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those
dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."
Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.
"Yes, the blonde replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two
coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50.00 and handed it to
her along with a £10.00 tip.
"And by the way, " the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus.
Two blondes walk into a building.
You would have thought one of them would have seen it !
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FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a
moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and
hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife said, 'I don't know,some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'
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SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks
in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the
Compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's
me!'
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THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry.She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
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FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'
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FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
'Is it mine?'
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SIXTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a
leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop
and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find
They send me a BLIND policeman.'
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Blondes and the Irish in one joke....must be funny !!!! xx
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole,
looking up.
A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing.
Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of
this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.'
The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag,
loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.
She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few
measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches.
Then, she walked off.
Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde! We
need the [bad language filtered out] height and she gives us the length.'
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