I know exactly what you are going through, loosing a dog really leaves a big void in your life. When mine died I realised that she was really ill but it still doesn't help ease the pain. I used to get really angry when I saw the signs in cars "A dog is for life not for christmas", in an ideal world it would be for your life not theirs. A year later I had to go through it all again when my 14 year old cat developed Kidney failure, tried various treatments but faced up to the fact that nothing was going to bring her back so had her put to sleep.

It was two years before I was coerced into having another pet, a cat that desparately needed a home, one look at the little kitten and we were smitten. If you've got one cat you might as well have two so eventually found another which needed a home. The former became mine while the later gravitated towards my husband. My cat was more like a dog, followed you everywhere even waiting outside the bathroom, at times it felt like my dog had been reincarnated in her.

We were out in Florida when we received a phonecall from my neighbour saying they were worried about her and when we returned we took her to the vet but there was nothing they could do. Felt guilty about not being with her when she needed us so much but the pain has eased. She was 15 so not a bad age, but as both cats were born in the same year, DH is watching his beloved cat like a hawk. She's a typical cat who lives to eat and sleep, my neighbour reckons she won't die through over excerting herself and is more likely to go in her sleep.

A couple of weeks after my Mischief died, DH changed my screensaver to a photo he had found of her. At first I found it hard to look at her each time the computer loaded up but now I can smile and remember all the funny little things she did.

Time heals and when you're ready I'm sure you'll find another dog to care for.