January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....
Helllloooo!!!.... bottles won't fit in the printer!!!

March - Got really excited.... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6
months.... box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.... power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.... wrong instructions.... 8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a
slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.... car swamped
because soft-top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".... isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.... they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.... wrong instructions....
instructions said 1 hour per pound.... I weigh 108!!

December - Couldn't call 911 when the Christmas tree caught on
fire.... "duh".... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!