My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first
mistake).

One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors
was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why
she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the
kitchen?

Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that
those were for "special occasions" (her second mistake).

Now fast forward a few months....It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks
are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner.

Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone.

Mine was to set the table.

When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into
laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling.
Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a special occasion" Kotex napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!!

My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent
the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you
said they were for special occasions!!!"

Isn't it easier to just tell the truth?????????