REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food
or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
BRITAIN 2006 VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and
laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and
dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands
to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live
coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his
comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such
wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The
Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB
demonstrate in front of the squirrel’s house.
The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news,
broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".
Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has gotten
rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to
make him pay his "fair share” and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner
London.
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity
and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The squirrel’s taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire
grasshoppers, as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine
for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an
account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.
The squirrels’ food is seized and re-distributed to the more needy members of society,
in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed
retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local
authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking
cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of
origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent
love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted
bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead
of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were
abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise
and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.
A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrels’ food,
though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around
him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs.
Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper’s drug 'illness'.
The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK.
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money
for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in
custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and
supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea
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