******
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
When a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout
from the back seat, 'Mum! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it
in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a
charming little smile, 'We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it
fell in the toilet a few days ago.
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a new starter handed his teacher a note
From his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are
not necessarily those of his parents.'
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old
Daughter to answer the phone. 'It's the Vicar, Mummy,' the child said to her
mother Then she added, 'Mummy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
now She's hitting the bottle.'
MORE ******
A little boy got lost at the swimming baths and found himself in the
women's changing room. When he was spotted, the room burst into
shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy
watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter haven't you ever
seen a little boy before?'
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to the
elderly, I used to take my 4- year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds The
various appliances of old age, particularly the walking sticks, zimmer
frames and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for
the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The
tooth fairy will never believe this!'
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she
Saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
suit.' And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache
the next morning..'
DEATH
While walking along the pavement in front of his church, our vicar
Heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box
and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the
deceased. The vicar's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always
said: 'Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn .. and into the hole
he gooooes.'
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just
Wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write and
they won't let me talk!'
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
Fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that
had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found', the boy
called out.' What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young
boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear.
[msnsmile2][msnsmile2]
Julie
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