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Thread: One Liners

  1. #1
    Florida Expert smiler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Inverness, Scotland
    Posts
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    One Liners

    Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.
    Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you?"

    Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?"

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my
    intelligence come from?"
    The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause
    I still have mine"

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court
    Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very
    fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to
    send her a few bucks myself,"

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like
    the looks of your wife at all. "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But
    she's a great cook and really good with the kids.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
    been living with for the last 40 years.
    The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that
    were used to put the curse on you.
    The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
    1.. All the DNA is the same.

    2. There are no dental records.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take
    to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"

    The agent replies, "Just a minute.."

    "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
    Angie & Davy


  2. #2
    Florida Expert
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    947
    [clap][clap][clap]like 'em!

    ALR[msnsmile]


  3. #3

  4. #4
    Gold 5 Star Member Sharon G's Avatar
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    Nov 2003
    Location
    West Yorkshire
    Posts
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    I like the blonde joke!!!!!
    Sharon


  5. #5
    Gold 5 Star Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Harwell, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom.
    Posts
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    Brilliant! [clap][clap]

    Carole


  6. #6
    Florida Chatterbox
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    371
    made me lol !!!


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