You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
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At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
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A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
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A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
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A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know, son, I'm still paying.'
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A young son asked, 'Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
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Then there was a woman who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.'
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
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Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky. Mine's still alive.'
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A Woman's Prayer - Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
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