My Mother Taught Me.....

[resorthomerentals]

TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
'If you're going to fight with each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!'

RELIGION:
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

TIME TRAVEL:
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

LOGIC:
'Because I said so, that's why.'

FORESIGHT:
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

IRONY:
'Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about.'

The science of OSMOSIS:
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper!'

CONTORTIONISM:
'Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!'

STAMINA:
'You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished.'

WEATHER:
'It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.'

How to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
'If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?'

HYPOCRISY:
'If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!'

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
'Stop acting like your father!'

ENVY:
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!'

[Ray&Sarah]

Very funny & so true!