Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
Isn't that the TRUTH!!!

<span style=&#39;color:green&#39;>One of life&#39;s mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.</span id=&#39;green&#39;>

My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.

<span style=&#39;color:blue&#39;>The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear really tight shoes. </span id=&#39;blue&#39;>

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don&#39;t know what you&#39;re doing, someone else does.

<span style=&#39;color:red&#39;>The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. </span id=&#39;red&#39;>

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

<span style=&#39;color:red&#39;>Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.</span id=&#39;red&#39;>

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

<span style=&#39;color:red&#39;>Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!</span id=&#39;red&#39;>

<span style=&#39;color:limegreen&#39;>Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, &#39;You know, sometimes I just forget to eat.&#39; Now I&#39;ve forgotten my address, my mother&#39;s maiden name, and my keys. But I&#39;ve
never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.</span id=&#39;limegreen&#39;>

A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn&#39;t really care.

<span style=&#39;color:green&#39;>The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. </span id=&#39;green&#39;>

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

<span style=&#39;color:red&#39;>I know what Victoria&#39;s Secret is. The secret is that
nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff. </span id=&#39;red&#39;>

OK girls, now how many of these are true!