TO A PHENOMENAL WOMAN

This was sent to me by a friend it was written by Beryl Cook and she is an artist from England


TO A PHENOMENAL WOMAN
When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in to wear a belted dress.
But now that I am older, I've set my body free;
There's comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be.
Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now, But used to wear a seven.
And how about those pantyhose-- They're sized by weight, you see, So how come when I put them on The crotch is at my knee?
I need to wear these glasses As the print's been getting smaller; And it wasn't very long ago I know that I was taller.
Though my hair has turned to gray and my skin no longer fits, On the inside, I'm the same old me, the outside's changed a bit.

But, on a positive note... I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things:
a rainy day,
lost luggage,
and tangled Christmas tree lights.
I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands.
You need to be able to throw something back.
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Oh Jacqueline thats so luvverly!!!!!:)

Why Thank you! I thought it may be a bit different for a Sunday morning!!

another one to cut and paste!

[msnwink][msnwink]

Well, I have to say the first bit was a little close to home! [msnwink]

But have just sent it all to my daughter who is having a very stressful weekend finishing asssignments at University - she lost all of Saturday's work on her computer which threw up an error message and proceeeded to eat it. She has not been able to retrieve it, and was feeling very low.

Thanks for posting it Ravtino.

A very positive note for a Sunday morning, and so true.[msnsmile]

This is only for fun not intended to offend



The 5 toughest questions women ask - and their answers:

The five questions are:

1 - "What are you thinking?"

2 - "Do you love me?"

3 - "Do I look fat?"

4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"

5 - "What would you do if I died?"


What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example:


1 - "What are you thinking?"


The proper answer to this question, of course, is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you."

Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:

a - Baseball

b - Football

c - How fat you are.

d - How much prettier she is than you.

e - How he would spend the insurance money if you died.

According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking."

The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers:


2 - "Do you love me?"


The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear.

Wrong answers include:

a - I suppose so.

b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes.

c - That depends on what you mean by "love".

d - Does it matter?

e - Who, me?


3 - "Do I look fat?"


The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include:

a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.

b - Compared to what?

c - A little extra weight looks good on you.

d - I've seen fatter.

e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.


4 - "Do you think she's prettier than me?"


The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were starring at so hard thay you almost cause a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier."

Wrong answers include:

a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.

b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things.

c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.

d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.

e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.


5 - "What would you do if I died?"


Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid joke:

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?" "Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?" "Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of couse not, dear" said the husband. "Don't you like being married?" said the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said. "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" "Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry." "You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt. "Yes" said the husband. "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause. "Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband. "I see," said the wife indignantly." And would you let her wear my old clothes?" "I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband. "Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"

"Yes. I think

[clap][clap]Good one!!!

According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking."

Love both your posts Jacqui, and who doesn't LURVE AL Bundy?[msnwink]