Banned from ASDA - Didn't like shopping there anyway!

[Lyn]

Yesterday I was at my local ASDA buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Winalot Diet again.. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IIVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish setter’s bottom and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from ASDA

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

[Laurel Oak]

Priceless. I retired last Friday so must remember the story.

[LiesaAnna]

pmsl.... love it!!!

[Clare R]

As a smiliarly retired person I just love your story Lyn, people do ask, or even state at times, the most ridiculous statements. Can only presume cashier heard all this and duly reported it - do you think your ban will be known in Wal Mart, Asda's parent company - could change your whole way of life.

[Lyn]

Don't mind being banned from Asda but Wal Mart, heaven forbid[msncry]

[kitch50]

lol[msnsmile2]

[Madabouttigger]

Oh my, what an imagination - lol

[Jill]

Always knew Asda did not have a sense of humour. They are 'improving' our Asda at the moment - which means move everything round so you can't find anything and nothing is logical and then fill the car park with vicious little speed humps every 100 yards. I prefer it the way it was.

Did they give you a reason for the ban - should you have been buying cat food instead?

[Skobe]

This is one of the best - lol[clap]

[another]

Excellent [clap]

[LiesaAnna]

awww bless you all... i thought it was for real but its posted in the jokes section xxx[msntongue]

[Appledore]

lol - absolutely love it! :D

[Big_Momma]

I wished it was real!!!!

[DisneyPrincess]

ha ha!! :D

[Mo Green]

Waiting my turn in Sainsburys I watched as the cashier scanned a dozen tins of catfood. Turning to the shopper she asked if he had a cat. My husband wondered why I was laughing until I told him the joke about Dog Food.

[parrey]

Brilliant - I can never think of these things fast enough! Some people are really thick!!

[gbuttery]

GREAT!!
What actually was the reason for the ban?

ps. Does the diet work!!!

[sammibabe]

Always knew Asda did not have a sense of humour. They are 'improving' our Asda at the moment - which means move everything round so you can't find anything and nothing is logical and then fill the car park with vicious little speed humps every 100 yards. I prefer it the way it was.

Did they give you a reason for the ban - should you have been buying cat food instead?

Same with our Tesco's [msnmad] and portacabins for loos in the carpark. So I am confused now - Is it real and in the jokes section cos it's funny (so hope it's real) or made up?[msneek]