ravtino
10-10-2005, 20:04
Something else I have just been sent.
TOP 5 SMART ANSWERS FOR 2004...according to Reader's Digest
>
>
>
> Answer 5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
>tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he
>opened his coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, 'Sir,
>I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'
>
>
>
> Answer 4: A lady was looking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket
>but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked one of the
>staff 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' He replied, 'No madam, they're
>dead.'
>
>
>
> Answer 3: A policeman got out of his car and the lad who he'd stopped
for
>speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the
>policeman said. The lad replied, 'well I got here as fast as I could.'
When
>the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way without
>a ticket.
>
>
>
> Answer 2: A truck driver was driving along on the motorway. A 'Low Bridge
>Ahead' sign comes up but before he knows it, the bridge is ahead of him
and
>he gets stuck underneath. Traffic is tailed back for miles. Finally, the
>police arrive. The policeman gets out of his car and walks to the driver,
>puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck then?' The truck driver
says,
>'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol.'
>
>
>
> ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004............... A school teacher reminds her class
>of the final exam the next day. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
>for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious
>personal injury or illness or a death in your immediate family but that's
>it. No other excuses whatsoever!' A lad at the back of the room raised
his
>hand and asked, 'What would you say if I was suffering from complete & utter
>sexual exhaustion tomorrow?' The entire class was reduced to laughter and
>sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the
>student, shook her head and sweetly said 'Well, I expect you'd have to write
>the exam with your other hand.'
TOP 5 SMART ANSWERS FOR 2004...according to Reader's Digest
>
>
>
> Answer 5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
>tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he
>opened his coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, 'Sir,
>I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'
>
>
>
> Answer 4: A lady was looking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket
>but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked one of the
>staff 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' He replied, 'No madam, they're
>dead.'
>
>
>
> Answer 3: A policeman got out of his car and the lad who he'd stopped
for
>speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the
>policeman said. The lad replied, 'well I got here as fast as I could.'
When
>the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way without
>a ticket.
>
>
>
> Answer 2: A truck driver was driving along on the motorway. A 'Low Bridge
>Ahead' sign comes up but before he knows it, the bridge is ahead of him
and
>he gets stuck underneath. Traffic is tailed back for miles. Finally, the
>police arrive. The policeman gets out of his car and walks to the driver,
>puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck then?' The truck driver
says,
>'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol.'
>
>
>
> ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004............... A school teacher reminds her class
>of the final exam the next day. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
>for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious
>personal injury or illness or a death in your immediate family but that's
>it. No other excuses whatsoever!' A lad at the back of the room raised
his
>hand and asked, 'What would you say if I was suffering from complete & utter
>sexual exhaustion tomorrow?' The entire class was reduced to laughter and
>sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the
>student, shook her head and sweetly said 'Well, I expect you'd have to write
>the exam with your other hand.'