Kiddie001
19-05-2005, 14:57
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into
the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and
dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams
would be shattered. I think, 'It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams
come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'
-- Babe Ruth
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-- Ernest Hemingway
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Paul Hornung
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
-- H.L. Mencken
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall
asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!
-- George Bernard Shaw
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I
grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly
as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.
-- W.C. Fields
Remember 'I' before 'E', except in Budweiser.
-- Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a 'support group.' Salvation in a can!
-- Leo Durocher
AND THE ALL TIME TOPPER !!!...
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the 'Buffalo Theory' to his buddy,
Norm. 'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast
as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest
ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd
as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving
by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human
brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of
alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why
you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
[clap][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer]
the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and
dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams
would be shattered. I think, 'It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams
come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'
-- Babe Ruth
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-- Ernest Hemingway
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Paul Hornung
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
-- H.L. Mencken
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall
asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!
-- George Bernard Shaw
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I
grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly
as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.
-- W.C. Fields
Remember 'I' before 'E', except in Budweiser.
-- Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a 'support group.' Salvation in a can!
-- Leo Durocher
AND THE ALL TIME TOPPER !!!...
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the 'Buffalo Theory' to his buddy,
Norm. 'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast
as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest
ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd
as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving
by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human
brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of
alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why
you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
[clap][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer]