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flyrr100
15-04-2005, 22:34
A list of reasons why it's just Great To Be A Guy!

1. Your last name stays put.

2. The garage is all yours.

3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

4. Chocolate is just another snack.

5. You can be president.

6. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don't give a rats hindquarters whether or not someone notices your new haircut.

9. The world is your urinal.

10. You never have to drive to another gas station because 'this one is just too icky.'

11. Same work, more pay.

12. Wrinkles add character.

13. Wedding Dress, $5,000; Tux Rental, $100.

14. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

16. One mood, ALL the time.

17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

18. You know stuff about tanks.

19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21. You can leave the motel bed unmade.

22. You can kill your own food.

23. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

24. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

25. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

26. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

27. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

28. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: 'He must be mad at me.'

29. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

30. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

31. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

32. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

33. You almost never have strap problems in public.

34. You don't mind wrinkles in your clothes.

35. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

36. You don't have to shave below your neck.

37. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

38. You can do your nails with a pocket knife.

39. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

40. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th, in 30 minutes.

41. You can pack for a trip in less than a half hour.

42. Your hair is dry after taking a shower by the time you're dressed.

43. Facial hair is a good thing.

44. You can go to the bathroom without a support group

45. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

46. You can write your name in the snow.

47. You can take your shirt off on a hot day.

48. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.

49. Gray hair adds character.

50. With 400 million sperm per go, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, in theory.

51. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

52. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

53. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: 'So, notice anything different?'

54. Bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

55. You don't care if the toilet seat is left up.

56. One acronym that doesn't pertain - PMS.

57. You don't have to wear makeup.

58. You can think about girls all the time and it's alright.

59. You can lean down to pick something up without having to worry about your shirt hanging open.

60. You don't get pregnant.

61. You don't take hours and hours to get ready.

62. You don't secretly resent friends who are more attractive.

63. You don't care if you look like [bad language filtered out] when your picture is taken.

64. Homer Simpson makes perfect sense.

65. You don't have to worry about breaking a nail.

66. Complaints about something being to heavy are kept to yourself.

67. Your eyes can remain open when you step on the scale.

68. You can take pride in breaking wind.

69. A shower only takes a few minutes and the

Magical Dreams
15-04-2005, 22:45
Well, I will not comment on this, but you will certainly get a public flogging for this Jeff!!

[beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer]

DisneyDreamer
15-04-2005, 22:57
I have mailed this on to my male friends who I am sure will appreciate it....many of them remind me of Homer Simpson in many ways!!!![msnwink]

LiesaAnna
15-04-2005, 23:51
what can i say?????????????????????

flyrr100
16-04-2005, 00:08
Ok, I'm ready, flog away!
Of course this, in now way, represents me.

heathercobbett
16-04-2005, 12:45
WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A WOMAN

We don't think our sexuality is in question if we ask for directions(how many roads must a man walk down before he admits he is lost!)

We are not constantly adjusting ourselves(you know what I mean!)

We do not pick our noses at traffic lights

We do not faint while donating blood

We have colds,not flu

We do not relish declaring war

We can find things (ie socks which are in the sock drawer)

We can make a meal without leaving the kitchen looking like a disaster zone

We know that washing up includes wiping the surfaces,cleaning the sink and cooker

Right girls...it's war....come and add yours

DisneyDreamer
16-04-2005, 15:22
We start reading the newspaper from the front pages....not the back

We understand that football is ONLY A GAME!!!!!

We realise that wet towels have a special place to live called the towel rail...not the floor!

We understand the beauty that is SHOPPING!

It is a proven fact that we can multi-task...and still do a good job


[msntongue]

Daglish
16-04-2005, 15:23
Nice response Heather

I'm just too amazed at Jeff's list to add anything at the moment!

Tracy

John Rocke
16-04-2005, 17:36
if you understand that football is only a game, you understand nothing.
('[:O]')
multi tasking gets you stressed, I know, I still have the bruises!('[B)]')



jr

DisneyDreamer
16-04-2005, 18:42
I have just got in trouble from my SISTER for saying football is only a game too!!!![msnscared]

orlandodaze
16-04-2005, 19:05
Football is certainly "not only a game " it is the cause of every Saturday being wasted instead of doing the garden, painting, Doing d.i.y., washing the car or clearing out the attic.It was the cause of me missing many a good tv programme until I copped on and got my own tv. It is the cause of me doing the weekly shopping single handed on my way from work. It is the cause of me attending kids activities on my own because there is a very important match on. I can easily say that football is one of my big HATES.

LiesaAnna
16-04-2005, 19:12
what the heck do we girls ever want/see/or need from a MAN!!!!
lets face it girls we can do everything ourselves if we want to![msnwink]

mrsbabypowder
17-04-2005, 01:00
Reasons Why its Great to be a Woman!
Thanks to all of my friends ideas who helped me make this page.

Sorry Guys you suck! hahahaha......

1. "Ladies first"

2. We can fake [word edited].

3. We get into nightclubs cheaper.

4. We get free drinks in bars.

5. We live longer, so we inherit the mens money, house and life insurance.

6. We dont get beer bellies, facial hair or prostate problems.

7. We can get pxxxxd on just a few pints.

8. Its ok to like boybands, musicals, soppy movies without questioning our sexuality.

9. Men love gay women.

10. Car insurance is cheaper for women.

11. We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

12. We can see a male stripper without being called a pervert.

13. Its ok to cry.

14. Chocolate always makes us feel better.

15. Angry outbusts can be blamed on PMS.

16. If we forget to shave, we just wear trousers (pants).

17. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

18. We're NOT men.

19. [word edited] make no significant difference in your enjoyment of sex.

20. When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short.

21. Our friends don't pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone.

22. We have better fashion sense.

23. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return.

24. Our brains are larger and NOT in our genitalia.

25. Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know)

26. PMS is a legal defense for murder.

27. 2 words- multiple [word edited].

28. You never have to worry about whether your child is really yours.

30. No one cares how large your [word edited] is.

31. You never have to expose your genitals to others in a public restroom.

32. You can still have teddie bears around at any age.

33. You're always Daddy's lil' girl no matter how old you are.

34. Free drinks.

35. Free dinners.

36. Free movies (you get the point).

37. You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay.

38. You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay.

39. You know The Truth about whether size matters.

40. Speeding ticket? What's that?

41. New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.

42. You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically
positioned in high school.

43. If you have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, you're
not the devil.

44. [word edited] make no significant difference in your enjoyment of sex.

45. If you have to be home in time for Melrose Place, you can say so, out
loud.

46. If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.

47. You can sleep your way to the top.

48. You can sue the President for sexual harassment.

49. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.

50. It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group
shower.

51. No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.

52. Brad Pitt.

53. You don't have to [edited out] to amuse yourself.

54. If you cheat on your spouse, people assume it's because you're being
emotionally neglected.

55. YOU never have to wonder if your [word edited] was real.

56. You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.

57. No one passes out when you take off your shoes.

58. If you think the person you're dating really likes you, you don't have
to break up with them.

59. Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.

60. If you forget to shave, no one has to know.

61. You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her butt.

62. If you have a zit, you can conceal it.

63. You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates
are still there.

64. If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.

65. You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

66. You have the ability to dress yourself.

67. You have an ex

normajohnp
17-04-2005, 01:40
I just have to print this off, will let you know what the reaction is when the fellas find it on there loo wall,there are a few which are crying out to be printed on a t-shirt, leave you all to guess which one`s!

chunkichik
17-04-2005, 15:10
And of course there is a sign in our house which in my opinion should be in everyones, just so the men know where they stand[msnwink]

'I am the boss of this house and I have my wifes permission to say so!!'

Ray&Sarah
17-04-2005, 15:57
<blockquote id="quote" class="ffs">quote:Originally posted by chunkichik
And of course there is a sign in our house which in my opinion should be in everyones, just so the men know where they stand[msnwink]

'I am the boss of this house and I have my wifes permission to say so!!'
[/quote]

That reminds me of the card my son gave my hubby for his birthday last year, something like "Happy Birthday Dad, you are the boss of our house - its okay I asked mum and she says I can say that".[msnsmile2]

John Rocke
17-04-2005, 16:37
<blockquote id="quote" class="ffs">quote:Originally posted by orlandodaze
Football is certainly "not only a game " it is the cause of every Saturday being wasted instead of doing the garden, painting, Doing d.i.y., washing the car or clearing out the attic.It was the cause of me missing many a good tv programme until I copped on and got my own tv. It is the cause of me doing the weekly shopping single handed on my way from work. It is the cause of me attending kids activities on my own because there is a very important match on. I can easily say that football is one of my big HATES.
[/quote]

now you're getting close.

jr

flyrr100
17-04-2005, 17:09
Hmmmm... OK, I'll find more!

Frosty
18-04-2005, 20:58
I think this one fits neatly in here, enjoy: -

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one.
Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, " So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!" The woman continues, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.... "

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Never trust a woman!!!