View Full Version : PREGNANCY Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
LiesaAnna
07-11-2004, 22:31
[clap][clap][clap][clap]
love em Fiona,
thanks for giving me a giggle!!!!![msnwink]
E. Cosgrove
07-11-2004, 23:25
love them Fiona, they're going on the noticeboard at work tomorrow, real midwives humour [clap][clap][clap][clap][clap]
LiesaAnna
07-11-2004, 23:30
got to be one of the best jobs going!!!!!!!wish i was one!!!!!!!!!!:)
E. Cosgrove
07-11-2004, 23:40
Hard work, long hours, abused by members of the public, expected to be in 20 places at once.....but it's the only thing I'm any good at![msnsmile2]
LiesaAnna
07-11-2004, 23:43
would have loved to do it, do you watch when you have time, Discovery Health over these last few weeks theyve been fiming home birth diaries around Brighton, i saw an old very good friends sister, a midwife out shoreham near brighton and hove, i havent seen her for.......well since at least 1977!!!!!!!!!
how lucky, i remember her training!!!!!!
got to be one of the most worthwhile jobs ever in my opinion:)
mollymoo
07-11-2004, 23:44
I looked into Midwifery, earlier this year, as our local University do a two/three year course but with two children one at school and the other just two thought I would put it on the back burner until they were a bit older.
Have taken a career change already worked as a Senior Adminstrator for a Financial Company and now am Registered Childminder so have got a very small taste of looking after other peoples children but can give them back at the end of the day[msntongue][msntongue]
Kerry-Ann
Kerry-Ann, exactly the same route my wife took, looked at training for midwifery but with two small one's not feasible right now.
So now she's a registered child minder...
Brizzle.
mollymoo
08-11-2004, 00:15
Brizzle,
Glad there's someone on here that does the same, I'm not the only mad one!!!!![msntongue][msncry]
Joking aside I do enjoy it have been registered for 7 years and done it full time since the two year old was born. [msnsmile2]
Kerry-Ann
LiesaAnna
08-11-2004, 01:22
i have 6 kids and looked into child minding 16 years ago, but after having my daughter Terri (who will be 16 on Tues) developed the problem that i have with my knees but back in those days;) it was in the upper body!! gone through all the fire checks and various things that were required then, couldnt cope with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my friends a registered childminder and i never get to see her anymore, well i could but i like my peace and quiet after the grandkids have gone home!!!!!!! and i look after me grandson Bradley who is 9 months old and a treasure!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
all my life i wanted to be a midwife, but havent got the get up and go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wish i had done more when i left school:(
Ray&Sarah
08-11-2004, 01:33
Love them Fiona!:D:D:D
steph_goodrum
08-11-2004, 01:33
A school friend of my daughters started her training to be a midwife in September and started her first placement last week. What I found a bit scary is that once she has attended 5 births she can then deliver a baby herself, obviously not without the trained midwife in teh room, but still a lot of responsibility for an 18 year old.
MaggieAllan
08-11-2004, 01:50
I think it's a bit like when your childrens' school teachers are younger than you, policemen etc. It takes a bit of time to adjust to . I suppose you would like to think that they had attended about a 100 births before delivering but they have to start 'doing' instead of watching at some time, and with the help of 'experts' who will step in if needed. When I was having number one, I was shocked (read niaive) when they hadn't had babies themselves. But, I also struggled to tell my mum I was pregnant, because even though 22 and married it meant admitting we had done it[:I] At the same time I was responsible for customer complaints at work and advising them on methods of payment (having only paid about 12 months bills in my life so nothing to draw experience from) And if I say so myself, I was really good at it, so perhaps you can be fantastic at work but still wet behind the ears???
LiesaAnna
08-11-2004, 01:52
yeah hear hear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
E. Cosgrove
08-11-2004, 01:52
They are very highly supervised Steph, many ladies love having students as they learn so much themselves, the midwife is constantly explaining what is going on. I think 18 is very young as these girls do not have the communication skills and life skills of more mature students, when I trained a million years ago it seems, you had to be 21 and already be a trained nurse so at least you were used to working with people.
Personally I think you should have had children before you can be a midwife, how can you imagine what it is like unless you have experienced something like that! And as for an old maiden aunt telling you it didn't hurt etc. I'm not sure what is worse, an 18yr old or an old biddy, neither of whom really know what is what! No wonder everyone has to give bith in a hospital nowadays, we realy can't imagine how the old district nurses used to manage in the old days. Any WHY aren't there more female obstetricians? I'd better shut up before I really get going!
LiesaAnna
08-11-2004, 11:37
<blockquote id="quote" class="ffs">quote:Originally posted by fiona
Personally I think you should have had children before you can be a midwife, how can you imagine what it is like unless you have experienced something like that! And as for an old maiden aunt telling you it didn't hurt etc. I'm not sure what is worse, an 18yr old or an old biddy, neither of whom really know what is what! No wonder everyone has to give bith in a hospital nowadays, we realy can't imagine how the old district nurses used to manage in the old days. Any WHY aren't there more female obstetricians? I'd better shut up before I really get going!
[/quote]
cant win with this one!!!
i had my first baby 24 years ago tomorrow!! and they practically tied me to the bed to stop me from leaving!! in those days you had to stay in hospital for 7 days exactly
i begged to leave after 5 days, they only agreed because my dad new the sister! a few days after coming home i developed problems and had to be taken back in by ambulance! and then in isolation for a week, drips in both arms! pretty ghastly time! and then after having a further 4 then the last 1 (6 in total) the difference wow!!!!!kicked out after 6 hours!!!!! and i wanted to stay in i needed the rest, and the visiting hours would have been brill!!!!!!! oh well never going to suit everyone!!!!!!!!!!
so many fors and againsts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
glad my baby days are over, just wished i'd taken more notice of everything in general!!!!!
steph_goodrum
08-11-2004, 12:59
Childbirth is one instance where, I think, a quote seen somewhere else is extremely appropriate.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practise, but in practise there is!
E. Cosgrove
08-11-2004, 13:10
[clap][clap][clap]
With the birth of my second child, I was asked if a student doctor could attend. As I lost any modesty during my first birth, I hapily agreed. In came a young chap, aged about 13 (by the look of him!) He looked so vunerable bless him! He told me that it was his first birth, and that he was so pleased that I had agreed he could watch! Well, labour lasted only about another 10 mins (about an hour in total - lucky huh!!) and after I had given birth, I looked at the doctor - He was bawling his eyes out! He told me that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and he was so pleased that I had allowed him to watch. He was so sweet, but goodness only knows how he would have reacted to seeing his own child being born!
PS Love the Q&A's Fiona!
Nostromo
08-11-2004, 14:44
<blockquote id="quote" class="ffs">quote:Originally posted by linda.s
With the birth of my second child, I was asked if a student doctor could attend. He was so sweet, but goodness only knows how he would have reacted to seeing his own child being born!
PS Love the Q&A's Fiona!
[/quote]
Very few men actually like being there when their own child is born, but put up a false bravado so that they are not ridiculed by the women present and also because their wife/partner expects it. I used to do a lot of Obstetric Anesthesia and this was the impression given to me by a lot of fathers while chatting afterwards.
Poor Neil, he had come back from Bombay on a night flight and usually he would go to bed for a few hours, that particular day he didn't!!! About 2000h I told him I thought something was happening, the midwife at the hospital on the phone said" first baby, it'll be a while, have a parecetamol, nice hot bath, go to bed and we'll see you tomorrow, call back when contractions are 5 minutes apart" I did as I was told, Neil went to bed, I had my bath, which lasted 10 minutes, the contractions were already 5 minutes apart and the hospital is 22 miles away. Neil phoned and just said "I'm bringing her in". The midwives were fantastic, and the one looking after me only left the room for 10 minutes all night, she did say she probably wouldn't see the baby being born.....she changed her mind at 4am, Alex was born 0549!!! I only had gas and air all night!!!! Neil poor thing had been up for 48 hours, the midwives were so good that whilst I was in the bath they put clean sheets on the bed and Neil had a 2 hour sleep on the bed that I had just delivered Alex on. Apparently this was a first!!!! They will have a place in my heart forever for being so wonderful with all 3 of us. Alex had a heart problem before he was born but it's all ok now, but they were just the best. Salisbury District Hospital - Wiltshire.
I just wanted to share my story with you and make Neil blush at the same time!!!!! He's the best dad in the world!!! Anyway I am going to take the first posting into the surgery for our local midwives they will love that and probably give it out at the next parent craft meetings!!! Thanks[clap][clap][clap][clap] The claps are for Neil and the midwives!
LiesaAnna
10-11-2004, 23:32
Beg to differ there;)my Steve is the best dad in the world, he has stayed through all my labours mopping my brow!! then had to come home and deal with however many kids that were left at home with friends or relatives! then visit do shopping cleaning washing etc, and men there just not cut out for domesticity!!!!!!!!!!!!
but he did try!!!!!!:)
and i love him so much!!!!!!!!!! 25 years of marriage next April!!!!!!!!!! he better take me somewhere nice!!!!!!!!:D[grouphug]
[beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer]for me and steve!!!!!!!
25 years is Silver - start planning somewhere nice to go!!! Florida????? It sounds like you have a great husband Liese here's to 25 years more[beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer][beer]
John Boy
11-11-2004, 01:36
Sorry Ladies you are all wrong
I am the best DAD in the world and that is OFFICIAL
Both my girls [angel]say so[beer]
We could all go on all night. We would all hope our kids would say we are the best mummy's and daddy's in the world, and wives saying their husbands are the best dads and husbands saying their wives are the best mums and so on....quite right too!!!!! [msnsmile2]
CarolAnn
11-11-2004, 02:54
Great original post Fiona:D I am working on my homework BTW! Honest:)